That Feeling…

God’s voice has often come through a stirring in my chest. I feel a burning and a pulling that I cannot explain. It especially happens when I have a decision that I really don’t want to make, or when I realize that I should be going in a different direction than I am. Because this feeling is so hard to put into words, it can sometimes cause problems for me.

I felt it clearly when I was choosing my undergraduate college. All my life I had wanted to go to a certain university. I told everyone my choice at the age of 10! When it came time to visit schools and make the big choice, I visited a few others just to please my parents. One of these others was a small Christian school, Trinity Christian College, since I knew that I learned better in a smaller environment. As we were walking around Trinity’s campus, learning about all the exciting things that happen at that college, I felt that burning and stirring in my chest. Was I supposed to go here? I was confused, because I KNEW that I was going to the other university. As it got closer to the time to choose, I couldn’t get Trinity out my head; every time I thought about it, I would get that same feeling. I knew that it must be from God because my head told me to go to the university.

This feeling began to cause problems. I couldn’t explain to my parents why I had suddenly changed my mind about the university I had planned to attend for years. I could only tell them that I felt like it wasn’t the right choice for me. Long story short, I ended up attending that university for only one horrible, long, tear-filled semester before they understood what I meant by, “God just wants me to go to Trinity.”

My past experiences have helped me understand and recognize how God speaks to me. During this time of discernment in our Loaves and Fishes group I have often reflected on that time in my life. My familiarity with God’s voice has helped me navigate the ideas brought to us during the Mini-Summit and our Loaves and Fishes discussions. I look forward to the coming months and the great ideas that will start to take shape and root.

Molly Knapp

Captain of the Mandarin Gobies Prayer School

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